When people talk about getting healthy a lot of times mental health is left out of the conversation. A lot of time is invested into building diet and exercise plans, but not as much is put into living in a healthy mental space. A big part of creating this good mental space is cultivating healthy relationships. There are so many outside forces bringing stress and uncertainty to your life that it’s important to have people around who help refill your cup. Being selective of who you choose to allow in your personal space is vital to cultivating a successful tribe and consistently staying in a place of mental stability. This is why it’s important to take stock of the company you keep and get rid of people who aren’t bringing anything positive to the table.
As the years go by it’s easy to collect people and feel obligated to them. Your contact list continues to grow, but when you’re truly in need of someone it feels like you have no one to turn to. This is a definite sign that not all of your friendships are as balanced as they should be. Though not everyone purposefully slithers themselves in a position to betray you, monkey throwers, drainers, drama queens, users, and haters can position themselves in your life without you realizing it, and do more harm than good.
These are the people who come to you carrying burdens that they eventually put on you. They don’t consider what might already be bearing weight on you and pile their stuff on because they know you’ll fix it.
These are the people who complain as much as they blink. Everything that comes out of their mouths is negative, and they find a way to discredit any source of hope you send their way. You could be having a bad day, but they will assure you time and time again that theirs is worse.
These are the people who always have something messy going on in their life and feel you need to be involved in it. They spread gossip faster than TMZ and make you feel cautious telling them stuff because you don’t know who will hear it next.
These are the people who only remember your number when they need something. Whether it’s a ride, advice on their relationship, or to borrow a few dollars they play up concern to smooth over their need for a favor.
We all know what a hater is, but it’s harder to spot them when they're dressed as friends. All I can say is attention to the people who don’t clap when you succeed.
People enter your life at different stages, and as you grow what you need from people changes. This is not to say that you can’t still be friends with Brittany from elementary school, but instead prompting you to check her intentions and what exactly it is that she brings to your life. Whether you want to believe it or not, the reality is not everyone who says they’re for you is really for you. This goes for people you just met yesterday and those you’ve known all your life.
You don’t owe anyone your time or energy who doesn’t deserve it. Though it may be difficult to compartmentalize people you care about, realizing exactly who they are and what they bring to the table will be more beneficial than not. Clearing negative or draining people from your space allows you to focus on the people and things that bring joy and ease to your life. Creating synergy between your mental and physical space is the only recipe for success, and you owe it to yourself to move through life purposefully with a good state of mind.